Hubuduh What?

unapologetic wit (snarf), houses and crown issues
2006-12-04 : 6:47 pm

I wish I could be the kind of person who makes an extraordinarily off-color joke and just trusts that people will understand that I'm kidding. I'm not. Well, usually I'm not. I may make the joke, but unless I know you know me well enough, I have to add that disclaimer, even at the expense of the shock-value, and therefore the entire joke. I just left a comment at someone's blog, someone who I'm new to, and it was an extraordinarily off-color joke and I took a chance and didn't disclaimer it. I'm pretty sure this person will get that. To my mind it's damn obvious I couldn't be serious, but that doesn't mean I'm not completely paranoid now that this person will a) totally not get that I'm joking when really, I LOVE the Jews! and b) other people will read it and totally not get that it's a joke or at least believe that it's Not Okay to make extraordinarily off-color jokes, and they will bring their harsh wrath down upon me.

If I'm going to be honest, however, I'm kinda proud that I didn't explain it away. I feel it's a step further down into the snarky evility that is my dark sense of humor which lies just below the surface of my regular sense of humor. Um, or something.

My lovely boyfriend informed me late last week that he is planning to buy a house in the next few months. Hubuduh WHAT?!? Yes, folks. I am dating a real, live, grownup. Who would have thought it possible? Not I, my friends... Certainly not I.

So, since he is Wonderful Man and he's all "I'm not afraid of commitment! Go ahead, TALK ABOUT PARENTAL METHODS!" he is happily welcoming all the input I can give him. We are looking in a certain middle-to-upper-middle class town with excellent schools, lots of trees, a big hill in the center that kids sled down in the winter near a gazebo, and absolutely no cultural diversity of any kind. But it's about 15 minutes away from Boston so there will at least be opportunities to introduce our children to said cultural diversity, unlike the NH cow town I lived in, which was surrounded by other NH cow towns, which were surrounded by even more NH cow towns, and in which a classmate once asked me upon hearing that I had an American friend of African descent "What kind of black is she? Preppy or Ghetto?" (I really couldn't make that up.)

It's really quite amazing. There is this life, this settled, mortgage-paying life that I always thought of as being part of the distant future, and it's approaching rapidly on the horizon, hurtling directly toward me at a rate of 35 real estate agents in silk scarves and clean, silver SUVs per minute. And I find myself to be really excited about it. And actually, in a way, quite relieved. I have this sneaking suspicion that this is It. And I'm happy about that.

OK let's not go crazy here. Yes of course I'm scared (in many ways) out of my fucking mind, but I'm also happy about it. And the fear is slowly but surely draining. Dude's scared as well, he admits to me, he just hides it better. But the vision I have of our future outweighs the fear of what else that future could hold.

At least for now.

DUN DUN DUNNNNNN!

I know this is a long shot since you all live in other parts of the country and some of you live in other countries altogether, but anyone know of a good dentist in or near Boston? One that won't tell me I need a root canal just because he wants to add a kick-ass spoiler and a new set of rims to his sportscar?

Thanks. :)

Do you ever want to plant really bizarre notes in random places so that people will find them, scan them and send them in to Found Magazine? I do.

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Dear George, You are taking too long to wake up. I want COFFEE! Wake up. Wake up. Love, Sunkin

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Tuesday: go to puff puff shop. Pick up a rabbi and call. Buy: eggs, milk, thong (sparkly), broom and bobby pins. DRIVE TO SOUTH! AAAH!!

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You know, something like that.