Hubuduh What?

i walk through throngs of you every day to my job where i wear tshirts and jeans
2006-09-21 : 4:30 pm

Aaaaaaaaallll these fucking Emerson kids with their fashion manifestos (they don't have statements, no, they have MANIFESTOS) and their clove cigarettes. Every single one of them is trendier than the next, and yet instead of real food they all find a way to survive on the desperate and forced insistance that they are, above all, ANTI-TRENDY!!! HOLD UP YOUR TINY FIST WITH ITS CHIPPED BLACK NAIL POLISH, GIRL!!! Who are these kids? These are not the kids who went to UNH, these are not the kids I knew when I was 19.

I think it's an urban thing. I saw a girl yesterday wearing a full-on polyester turquoise shirtdress with a sewn-in skinny belt, a collar, black plastic triangle buttons down the front, and a modest repeating print on the dress of alternating vertical stripes and vertical columns of black triangles pointing in jaunty angles running down the length of it. She wore black nylons with vertical black stripes, and turquoise flats that were vaguely moccasin-esque. The only thing good about her was her hair, which was exactly like Zooey Deschenel's in Failure To Launch, and it was only good because it reminded me of dear Zooey, and Zooey is always awesome. On this girl though, the high bouncy ponytail and thick bangs... well... she wasn't Zooey.

Anyway, my point is not her outfit. It was very trendy and cool (ugly as it may have been) and I'm sure she had all the other little sophomores just cursing their own calf-length legginged-out, Ugg-stilletoed, off the shoulder tshirted and cinched with a wide vinyl belt outfits because THEY weren't QUITE genius enough to be the FIRST TO THINK TO WHIP OUT THE BLACK PLASTIC TRIANGLES!!!

Oh yeah, this girl went there.

Anyway, my point is that these people don't seem to dress themselves in what they think looks good, they seem to have an almost disdainful view of their clothing choices, I think they are actually trying to out-ugly each other, because, as we all know, Ugly=Not Trendy, Not Trendy=The Utmost In Cool, and therefore, Ugly=The Utmost In Cool.

Well, Emerson, obviously, is not known for attracting students who have a high capacity for cognitive reasoning, because what is The Utmost In Cool if it is not UberTrend?

Ha! Didn't think of that, did you, you Rilo Kiley-obsessed, Jack White-loving freaks!*

The only solace I can take from this is that these people won't be able to breed, because the males of the species wear their jeans so tight you can see every little ridge in their barely-pubertied peni.

*Let it be known that I actually really like Rilo Kiley and am very suddenly and surprisingly warming to Jack White, despite a concerted effort to outrightly hate him for the past 2 years. Turns out I was just pissed they let that girl use drumsticks. Anyway, I did go to Emerson...