Hubuduh What?

snippets...
2007-03-23 : 11:01 am

I have a cold. I was all sneezes and tears on my way to work, but then the DayQuil kicked in (shout out to my boo).

The keg on the 5th floor of my office leaked a few days ago. No one did anything about it and this morning we walked in and it smelled like, well, college. So I went out and bought $20 worth of cleaning supplies. I Lysolled the air and Resolved the carpet. We'll see. Whoever tapped the keg wrong is buying my drinks at the company party, even though I kind of see my cleaning their mess as a sort of penance. Penance for what, you ask?

See, when we at my company have a party, things can kind of get a smidge out of hand. The last party we had took place at a bar in Boston that had many, many pool tables. And lots and lots of beer. Beer + bar sports + guys = bets with embarrassing outcomes, as you may have experienced in your life.

To make a long story short, for the entire week following the party Rob, one of the higher ups in Support had to wear a sexy little halter top (provided by me, of course), and both Jim and Chris had to sport Selleck-esque mustaches instead of their regular full beards. We took pictures of all three which, for job security reasons, I will NOT be posting here. However I will say that in Rob's picture his hands happen to be up at his head in a Tune-In-Tokyo position, and both Jim and Chris' pictures look like mug shots.

Meanwhile, the time has come for our annual (there are usually like 3, but this is the big one) company party. I am in charge of setting it up and sending out the evites. As you may know, with evites you can choose one main picture and two side pictures to upload. I chose Rob's sexy halter top picture for the main, and he's flanked by the two Sellecks. I sent out that evite to the peeps in our company and the non-staff folks who would get the joke. I did NOT include the clients we will be inviting in that first invitation.

A few days later I changed the whole evite to something entirely generic and work-appropriate, and only then did I add the email addresses of the clients who we are inviting as well. These, by the way, are ROB'S clients.

A few hours after that Rob told me, in front of the whole company "Jenny, Julie from Client Co just wrote me an email that said she was really disturbed by the picture of me."

Apparently the change didn't quite "take" on the evite site. I changed it again, almost cried with shame (okay I giggled a little, too) and this time it "took." Apparently, on evite, when you click "Finish" what that means is "There's actually one more hidden step." I missed that.

So, sigh, Rob, while being very understanding, was pretty bummed and embarrassed. Which sucks because I really look up to Rob. I have a LOT of respect for him and am actually secretly lobbying for him to be promoted to be my new boss. I think he's pretty damn great, and now I've gone and done this.

So, at Pamela's suggestion (Pamela is Ken's wonderful roommate, who I love dearly. You'll meet her later, possibly next) I bought Rob a little present this morning (a bag of assorted Lindt truffles) and wrote him a little note which included me calling him a wicked awesome rock star and also a drawing of me, encaptioned "sad Jenny."

He's out sick today and won't be back (due to work from home week and his vacation) for 2 weeks. Hopefully by then he'll forget what it is I'm apologizing about. :)

Don't seem to be fired yet, so that's a good sign.

A couple Pamela items, to get y'all familiar with her.

She has this incredible listening face when you're telling her something and she's humoring you. She'll turn her body away from you and turn her head toward you. She'll slightly purse her mouth, take a deep breath in through her nose, and then simultaneously open her eyes wide, then kind of squint them again while she nods with the severity of a giant old-money white man in a giant old-money leather chair. She's just so listening when she does this. Turns out she does it when she's not listening at all, which cracks me up.

Yesterday she came home from work and was very obviously in a BAD mood. She was grouchy and grumpy and snappy and desperately needed to go to the gym. I was sick and lolling on the couch watching an old episode of Gilmore Girls. She came in and sat down as Luke and Lorelai were breaking up. She said "oh, is this the one where she slept with Christopher?" I said "GASP! NO! They just had a fight. She sleeps with Christopher?!?" Pamela then turned to look at me and with THE most evil look I've ever seen on anyone (think the Wicked Stepmother from Cinderella) loudly says, with the slightest smile, "OOPS!"

That also, instead of pissing me off, really just cracked me up. I don't mind being told of things that I don't know about yet in the world of Stars Hollow. And she was just obviously so pissed at the world (or whatever it was she was pissed at) she definitely took a little bit of pleasure in ruining that little story line for me. I laughed and called her out on it, she laughed and said she desperately needed a workout, so she and Ken worked out while I searched the Craigslist personals for her (with her blessing) and found several gems including this guy who cracked me up with the very last sentence.

This morning we were driving to work talking about Katherine Heigl, who is engaged to Josh Kelly, who I saw this weekend at the Paradise with my dear friend Daphne (we had a FAAAABBBUUUU TIME and I discovered a love for Newcastle). Pamela told me that her character on Gray's Anatomy paid her way through college by being an underwear model. I said "I wish I could have paid my way through college by being an underwear model!" Pamela said, "Yeah, and think of it. If you're hot enough to be an underwear model you could probably be a hand model or a thigh model. And then you'd be one of those people who think you're all hot shit because once you were a thigh model but now your life sucks because your thighs got all droopy."

Droopy Thighs.

On St. Pat's Day we went to a Burlesque show. It was wonderful. I loved it. It had the fun and intrigue of exotic dancing, but was completely devoid of any possible feeling of degredation and included a VERY healthy portion of pure, solid, camp. These ladies were hilarious.

I had no idea... the art of the pasties. They make their own (of course I got a little lesson and will be making them, possibly this weekend!) and they're not all the same, either! The pasties go along with the theme of the particular number. One girl dressed as a nun, and as she stripped to her skivvies and pasties (that's as far as they'd get) she revealed lots of fiery red and orange sequins, plus a tail and a headband with horns, and her pasties were shaped like little flames. SO COOL! One girl came out dressed like a geek with a laptop. She did all kinds of fun things with that mouse. Once she undressed we saw that her pasties were shaped like the Linux penguin! I died. That was precious.

So that's that.

My friends Amy and Matt have put an offer on a house, which has been accepted. This is big news. I got the link to the listing and let me tell you, this house is GORGEOUS. The bitches, however, are all "oh, but it's not a faaarrrmmmm houuusee..." Fucking WAH.

This house is on a MOUNTAIN in rural New Hampshire and looks over this gorgeous valley. The veiw is phenomenal. Worthy of a postcard. Really. The house is huge and absolutely, absolutely beautiful.

Fuckers don't appreciate what they have. And yet they will still find a way to be smug about it. ;) (Yes I know you're reading this. Congratulations! Can't wait for the housewarming party!)

Sushi time.